Wednesday 28 March 2018

Farewell to Thee, My Brother

I learn that in death there are SO MANY lessons on life. Good lessons. I learn that my grief is secondary to the grief of others that I love. Others that loved him. I want to comfort them. In my rainbow tears, I realise the love I have for all those that loved him. But even every day life - between the sadness, I have "eyes to see". 

I am aware. 

Never before have I been so much in the moment.

My brother knew his time was nigh. That it was getting closer, but alas - I doubt he expected it when it happened.

Then again, who is ever ready? 

Who is prepared? 

Sitting next to the Machinist in the funeral parlour office, which smelt surprisingly fresh without the scents and cleaners, I asked Phil (first name basis) "Phil, from your experience - people who are grieving, do they grieve in strange ways? Ways that they don't expect?"

"Absolutely", he replied. "Basically, Helen - anything goes. Not to sound callous, but people grieve in different ways. When grief hit me, I blanked out for weeks. Months, in fact. I couldn't remember what transpired in that time"

He went on to tell us how he lost his wife, then 8 months later, his daughter...
"
I'm so sorry...."

"Thankyou. The thing is, I consulted with a great funeral director. He helped me so much. He explained so much, was ready to help and advise me - any time of the day. He was there for me, comforted me in his presence and assurance. Told me that I could conduct my families' funerals any way I wanted to - to honour them. And because of his help, in my time of deep sorrow - well - that's why I do what I do now..."

"So, Phil, you found your purpose?"

"I sure did. This is what I love to do. To be here now, for you - to help any way I can...THIS IS MY PURPOSE"

* * * * * * * * * *

My brother's crematorium music:
Intro: All things Bright & Beautiful (old tune - UK)
Intro: Lets Get Together - Bryan Ferry
Photo Slideshow: Protons, Neutrons, Electrons - The Cat Empire
Exit: Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick - Ian Dury & the Blockheads. 

Never in my wildest imaginations would I conceive a funeral director (A Funeral Director!) to create such inspiration, enabling a client to plan and execute a loved one's funeral with such fervour! 

I hope I did you proud, Bro.x

And to Phil - I'm so glad you found YOUR PURPOSE and you're LIVING IT.



Farewell to Thee

Feel no guilt in laughter, he knows how much you care.
Feel no guilt in a smile that he is not here to share.
You can not grieve forever, he would not want you to.
He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So talk about the good times and the way you showed you care.
Let memories surround you and he will live forever there.

4 comments:

The Journey said...

I am so sorry. You are never ready -this has been a rough 2 yrs for us. We lost dh mom, killed out front of her house. Next yr my sister in law, we'd over seen her care. Last Aug dh was diagnosed with colon cancer. I still miss you and the list. Do write me lynhead52@gmail.com

English Rider said...

I am sorry your Brother is no longer with you in person. This post has a warm glow, despite your loss, and shows how much you loved him and how his spirit and memories will not be extinguished. (We had the theme music from The Dam Busters for our father)

Mrs. White said...

I am so sorry for your loss. What you wrote is very helpful to others. Thank you.

love Mrs. White

ToBlog today said...

I am so sorry for your loss, grief indeed can help us be in the moment.

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