Sunday 12 February 2017
Last night, I swam in the moonlight.
The Machinist had gone into the workshop to get the huge fan and bring it inside so that we could later enjoy it's prowess while watching a movie. Cezar was on the pool deck - tormenting himself with the prospect of joining his mistress in the water versus fighting his fear of heights. Polly was doing her usual panting routine - not wanting to take part in family activities, but whimpering (whinging) if any other canine did so.
A huge orange moon seemed to be perched on the pitch of the Machine shop roof in the East North East. Lightning flashes appeared above the ivy clad willow tree in the North West.
My delight and admiration of such beauty was broken by the sound of mosquitoes buzzing around my head. I plunged underwater hoping that said mosquitoes would be gone when I resurfaced. They weren't. I knew they wouldn't be gone. I knew it was one of life's great misconceptions. I didn't want to stay too long underwater either - cos - well - you know - the Jaws theme song.
By now, I was in the middle of the pool. Another sound. What was it? What did it remind me of? That's it... Anthony Hopkin's as Hanibal in the Silence of the Lambs, - the sound he made as he reminisced over brains and fava beans:
But it wasn't Sir Anthony.
It was a ....
Swooping me - just like a magpie in Spring.
I could feel my flesh instantly turn to chicken flesh at the prospect of that bat getting closer and - horrors!
what IF it got caught in my HAIR?
"Babe. BABE. BAAAABBBBEED!!!"
"What is it?"
"A bat. Swooping me....sob...."
"It's ok. He's probably thirsty"
"Yes, for my BLOOOD...."
And with that, I was out of the pool and the intense heat of a kitchen in an Australian Heat Wave never felt so good.
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